


Tony's Adventures In Babysitting

by RedJumper



Category: NCIS
Genre: Babysitting, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Ziva has a child but it's not Talia as there no Tiva in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedJumper/pseuds/RedJumper
Summary: Don't own characters.For that otp writing prompt 30 days hing - #6 wearing each other's clothes.Read end notes for my explanation (that isn't necessary but I wrote anyways).Greys anatomy reference if you get it you get it.
Relationships: (background), Anthony DiNozzo/Timothy McGee, Ziva David/Roy Sanders
Kudos: 16





	Tony's Adventures In Babysitting

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own characters.  
> For that otp writing prompt 30 days hing - #6 wearing each other's clothes.  
> Read end notes for my explanation (that isn't necessary but I wrote anyways).  
> Greys anatomy reference if you get it you get it.

Tony's shirt has baby vomit on it. He doesn't even have a child and his (very expensive - might he just add) shirt has a patch of green spit up on the shoulder. He wrinkles his nose and heads into the kitchen to find something to wipe it off. 

It doesn't came out. If anything the now even more musher peas are embedding theyself into the white fabric. 

His day has just gotten worse and he hasn't thought that was possible after this morning when Ziva had asked (more demanded) that he look after Phineas after work - apparently she got to go on dates while he didn't. At least he's not alone in the hell that is looking after the spawn of Ziva David - at this point Tony's certain Mossad ninja skills are genetic. 

At least he has Tim with him and seriously he has never be this glad to spend a Friday night with McGee - well excluding the last couple of weeks that is. 

Tony gives up on the shirt, most of the fabric is now a green-grey from his violent scrubbing and collapses down on one of the bar stools. He's shirtless, there's some sorta sticky substance cheek and he's never babysitting for Ziva's evil spawn again.

The picture of Roy and Ziva starts blending into their fridge the longer Tony stares at it. 

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Tony's vision focuses back up. Tim's on the other side of the island with that stupid cute puppy dog head tilt he does. 

"That demon in your arms is to blame."

Tim looks down at Phineas who also has mushed peas all over his clothes and put on a slightly higher pitched voice to coo. "You didn't do anything wrong."

The spawn of satan Ziva fucking giggles in response. Tony will never understand why if all people Ziva insists that him and Tim babysit. Abby is so much better with children and she's the one that knows all the nursery rhymes. Gibbs would be a great choice as well what with the already had child, really good with child, actually likes children thing, hell Tony bets even Jimmy is good with kids. 

Checking the clock that hangs above the dining table, Tony sighs. There's still a hour left of this hell, and that's assumes Ziva comes back on time. That's not going to happen, Tony knows that, but still he has hope. Hope, that for once Roy won't convince Ziva that yes, they do in fact need to yet another walk around the park. 

Tim passes Phineas into Tony's arms and takes the shirt that may hanging from fingers to the sink. 

"I've already tried that." Phineas grabs his finger and starts trying to bite it. "It's not going to work. It stained even more. Ow" Tony takes his free hand from away from Phineas and makes sure he has a secure one handed grip. 

"That's why I'm going to put some of that fancy soap Ziva has on it and leave it in their washing machine." 

"Roy's going to steal it." Phineas starts fussing so Tony lightly bounces his knee up and down. "Your dad is going to steal my very expensive, very nice shirt."

"Roy doesn't seem like an Armani guy." Tim dumps the now most definitely ruined shirt into the machine. "Ziva on the other hand."

"I'm going to have to drive home without a shirt."

"You have spare clothes in your car, Tony." Tim's now going through the cupboards but Tony is sure that was eye roll with his statement. 

"Nope. I've been meaning to repackage my go bag since last time but I've kept putting it off." There a mumble from Tim that dampen by the fact his head is very much in a cabinet. "What are you even looking for?"

"Alcohol."

Phineas is startled by Tony's laugh and so in a effort to stop the on coming crying Tony starts pacing the length of the kitchen. Not the type of exercise he was hoping to have tonight. 

"Try the pantry."

Tony's finished his tenth lap of the kitchen by the time Tim has found the bottle. And even then they're still going to wait until they put Phineas down - which is looking like it might be soon. 

"Wanna pour the glasses when I do bedtime?" Tim asks. 

"Is that because you want to do it or because I'll wake the baby?" Tim just gives him that look that says 'what do you think?' - it's a look that rivals Gibbs' 'ya think?' look. 

Tony very - very - carefully passes the baby to Tim. He may or may not do a fist in the air when Phineas doesn't even stir. 

-

Tony is sitting on the couch, sock covered feet resting on the coffee table with a glass of white wine in his hand by the time Tim creeps into living room. 

"Please tell me your shirt is not also covered with baby vomit? Ziva will kill us if we make her do all our laundry."

Tim slumps down beside him and Tony passes him the other glass. After he takes a long sip, Tim passes his shirt to Tony. "I forgot I had an undershirt on so you can have this."

"So you'll stay in a vest, and I'll look the most presentable? Fine by me." He shrugs on the shirt. 

Tim leans over so his head falls on Tony's shoulder. It's strange how Tony can slightly smell Tim's cologne off the neck of the shirt but nothing off of Tim himself. 

Tony reaches his free hand around Tim's shoulders, allowing Tim to curl in more. 

-

Their peace lasts all of twenty minutes and thirty seven seconds. There's a cry from the baby monitor and Tony closes his eyes his eyes for a couple seconds - cursing Ziva for giving her child freakish loud lungs - and then calmly placed his wine glass on the table and makes his way upstairs. Tim gives him a look of pity which Tony knows is all fake because the smile playing on his lips only speaks relief.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so when I first saw this print I immediately thought of the s4 ep5 dead and unburied but nixed that idea because I came up with an og one - might still do it tho at some point. 
> 
> Second I have thoughts, honestly Tony never struck me as someone that would want children - might like them and be like the fun uncle but never a dad - and that how he is in this. I also personally don't want children and this the attitude expressed through this. 
> 
> I know in canon that he does have a child with Ziva but like it also took seven/eight seasons for them to finally get together so you know heteronormative- don't get me wrong I do like Tiva (at points) but their storylines are a bit ridiculous. Also this is fanfic so I get to essentially ignore all canon. 
> 
> So it's Roy/Ziva because I love season 4, I love that ep and also Ziva seemed to really care about the guy and since her two actual boyfriends after that (Micheal and Ray) ended up screwing her up (spying/that whole terrorist cell thing and killing in cold blood/something - I haven't really watched that part of s9 so) Roy it is.


End file.
